Theory Of A Deadman
Posted November 5, 2009 at 7:00 pm
For those unfamiliar with of Mr. Brooks’ particular brand of zombie humor, I’ve taken the liberty of including a few excerpts from The Zombie Survival Guide which illustrate George’s point. Most of Mr. Brooks’ stratagems are predicated on the assumption that “the mental capacity of the average zombie ranks somewhere beneath that of an insect” (Brooks 14). The vast majority of his survival techniques are only effective against undead foes who display “[no] ability to reason or employ logic” (Brooks 14). For instance, in the third chapter of his book “On the Defense,” Mr. Brooks describes several strategies to defend your home or residence from an incipient zombie attack. Most of these suggestions involve little more than placing yourself out of convenient reach of any zombies. The following example is one of Mr. Brooks’ methods for securing a two-story home.
Demolish the staircase! As zombies are unable to climb, this method guarantees your safety. Many have argued that an easier solution would be to board up all the windows and doors. This method is self-defeating because it would only take a few zombies to break through any homemade barricade. No doubt destroying your staircase will take time and energy, but it must be done. Your life depends on it (Brooks 76).
Unsurprisingly, Mr. Brooks recommends a remarkably similar tactic for single-story domiciles.
If you do not live in a two-story house, the attic will be a less comfortable but equally secure substitute. Most can be secured by simply raising the retractable staircase or removing the temporary ladder. Zombies lack the cognitive ability to build a ladder of their own. If you stay quiet, they will not even know the attic exists (Brooks 77-78) If you find yourself in a one-story home with no attic, grab whatever supplies you can, take hold of a weapon, and climb onto the roof. If the ladder is kicked away, and there is no direct access (a window or trapdoor), the undead will not be able to reach you (Brooks 78).
One can see how George might take umbrage with defense strategies that are based solely upon the absolute incompetence of his race. Most of Mr. Brooks’ comments and assumptions about the walking dead are either highly inflammatory or blatantly racist. No self-respecting individual, with or without a pulse, could allow such vicious stereotyping to go unchallenged. Also, I love this book.  The visual of John tossing it away is in no way in reference to the quality of said book... just that in the world of Zombie Roomie and dealing with George in particular it is of little use to John. Works Cited: Brooks, Max. (2003). The Zombie Survival Guide. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Tags: George, John